I just want to be good!

I just returned from a 2 mile walk. I find myself thinking a lot lately about life. "I just want to be good!" In the beginning God said on many occasion that it is good. I want him to say about my lift that it was good. What does that mean? What does that look like? I'm 38, and feel pretty good about what is happening in my life. I am always second-guessing myself whether I am doing what God wants me to do! I just want to be good!

I don't have an incredible family to brag about. Most know my story, that I really have to rely on my Christian friends for spiritual family. This can be very hard as most people have their own physical family. I have been blessed over the years, families have been good to include me in their activities. It amazes me how I want that for myself( a physical spiritual family of my own) I not rushing things, and I don't want it to happen tomorrow. It would be great at times.

I have my work. I love my work. I love watching students grow and become who they are. I am in a weird situation. I am single, and I am working in schools and clergy. Both of these professions are not real friendly to singles. I know this, and I want to stay there anyway. Again, all I want to do is be good! Every place that I have worked, I believe was a good experience in my growth professionally. You see, I love getting it right. It might be bad the first year, but it will be better the next. I don't like the status quo. Don't tell me that this is just the way it is. I will want to work to change that. This is where frustration comes on me as I want to fix it. It involves people, so it is very complicated!

I just want to be good!